Authors: ???, ???, and ???
Characters: Draco/Pansy, Harry/Pansy, past Draco/Hermione (if you don't blink)
Rating/warning(s) : PG-13; mentions of the following: abuse, rough situations, language, murder, suicide
Disclaimer: We own nothing of this world or the people in it.
Summary: When Draco upsets Pansy, she does the only thing she could think of to piss him off:
date Harry Potter.
Author's Note: We took one of your prompts and ran with it, so this is a little differently than the norm. Hope you like it!
Daily Prophet: June 5: Malfoy and Parkinson to Break Off Engagement
By: Terry Boot
After two years, steamy couple Draco Malfoy (veteran of the Battle of Hogwarts) and Pansy Parkinson announce that they have broken off their engagement. Miss Parkinson has told the Prophet that her ex-fiancé has "crossed the line one too many times." When asked to clarify, she said, "Every day it's something different… We used to love each other."
The Prophet believes that this is a false statement, since many neighbors of the couple have told us about arguments and loud noises in the middle of the night. One neighbor, who chooses to remain anonymous, recently spoke to us.
"We knew the Malfoy name," he said to us. "Moving into a wizarding neighborhood was not the way to show us that he was changing. The misses and I needed to put charms up over our home just so our children didn't have to hear the profanity shouted over there."
Another neighbor made mention of constant "thuds" being heard from inside the Malfoy's home. Miss Parkinson herself has been seen covered completely in her cloak and many speculate that it is to hide the curses the youngest Malfoy is throwing at her.
He denied this statement before chasing reporters off his lawn with a flock of birds. A source tells us that he learned that technique from a witch he dated while in Hogwarts.
If these stories are true, the Prophet applauds Miss Parkinson and wishes her luck.
Witch Weekly: June 15: Potter and Parkinson Spotted Drinking Together in Muggle London
By: Lavender Brown
Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin, has been seen for the first time since her break from her fiancé Draco Malfoy. This reporter's own lovely muggle boyfriend spotted the pair yesterday afternoon outside a pub in downtown London. Miss Parkinson seemed to be visibly upset and was being comforted by our savior, Harry Potter. The two were then seen sharing a long kiss before disappearing into the alleyways of the muggle world. This reporter believes they apparated away from the scene and spent some time alone. No doubt they both deserve it, since word of Harry Potter's own finalized divorce came out earlier this week.
Congratulations to both of them for finding each other in this hard time. Muggle photos are on page eight.
Daily Prophet: June 17: Perfect Couple? Potter and Parkinson Find Love
By: Terry Boot
Harry Potter and Pansy Parkinson were seen yesterday wandering Diagon Alley hand-in-hand. The couple did not seem to care that they were causing a stir as they strolled down the lane. They had lunch together in the Leaky before disappearing into Muggle London.
Witnesses tell the Prophet that the two looked happy. Those who knew Potter even told us that they had never seen the boy-who-lived in such high spirits, not even with his recently ex-wife Ginny Weasley.
When we tried to get the opinion of Draco Malfoy, we were once against chased from his lawn. We have yet to hear from Mister Potter with our request for an interview.
The Quibbler: June 21: Exclusive Interview
By: Marcie Collins
As a personal favor to our wonderful editor, Harry Potter has agreed to a small interview with the Quibbler. Our first question is: are the rumors true?
H. Potter: If you're talking about Pansy and myself, then yes.
So, you and Miss Parkinson are together?
H. Potter: I know a lot won't understand our situation, but we have found something in each other that we didn't see before. We're dating and seeing how it goes, I guess.
We heard that Draco Malfoy, your school rival, has threatened you because of this. Is that true?
H. Potter: I am dating his ex-fiancé weeks after they broke it off. I'm sure he's feeling a little upset about it.
A source told us that Miss Parkinson was covering up a black eye yesterday. What happened?
H. Potter: Ah, that. We had a small run-in with Malfoy. It happened before I could stop things.
Such a shame. She's lucky to have someone like you to care for her.
H. Potter: I agree with that.
You two look very happy together. This might be too early, but are there wedding bells in the future?
H. Potter: We don't want to take things too fast, so no. Neither of us are ready for that yet.
Thank you, Mister Potter.
The Quibbler was promised more interviews as time went on, but for now we can rest peacefully at night knowing the truth of the rumors.
Witch Weekly: July 12: Parkinson Still Covering
By: Lavender Brown
A close friend of Pansy Parkinson, girlfriend to Harry Potter, came to this reporter to inform us that her friend is still covering bruises. Some, she told us, looked fresher than a month old. The question that comes to this reporter's mind is: who is still abusing Miss Parkinson?
Both Mister Potter and Miss Parkinson deny any abuse in their current relationship, but either of them could explain the mysterious bruises still marring the beautiful witch. Our source told us that it was not a sickness, as we might fear, but something physical in her life.
A few witnesses have spotted Miss Parkinson sneaking through alleys with a cloaked figure which can be confirmed not to be Mister Potter. Could she be having an abusive affair?
This reporter promises to get the truth of the situation.
The Quibbler: August 2: Potter Loses Temper
By: Marcie Collins
In a recent interview with us, Harry Potter became short-tempered and verbally abusive toward our reporters. We asked him about Miss Parkinson's recent bruises covering her accidentally-exposed arm. He responded violently, informing us that it was none of our business. Mister Potter proceeded to storm out of the building, breaking several windows in the process.
We at The Quibbler have sworn to print only the truth, and the truth is buried beneath lies that Mister Potter has built. Our savior might not be Miss Parkinson's savior after all. The Quibbler will be posting regular updates about this situation as it arises.
Daily Prophet: August 28: Potter, Malfoy, and Parkinson Found Dead
By: Terry Boot
Aurors found the bodies of Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson dead late yesterday afternoon. Co-workers of Mister Potter were worried when he failed to show up that morning. The worry escalated when he did not answer firecalls or owls. It was then that authorities were contacted, but it took them a few hours to get into Malfoy's home to find the three of them.
From the state of the home, Mister Potter and Mister Malfoy dueled in the living room. Mister Malfoy has reopened scars along his body as well as new ones crossing over the old. Sources tell us that the original scars also came from Mister Potter in an unfortunate accident while at Hogwarts.
Mister Potter was found dead, but with no wounds. Speculations point to an Unforgiveable, but it is not conclusive whom it came from. A public service will take place in a few days and more details will come tomorrow once family is contacted.
Miss Parkinson was found the same way as Mister Potter, her wand still in her hand. Aurors refused to tell us what they found during their investigation of said wand.
Those of us here at the Daily Prophet mourn Harry Potter's death and extend our sympathy toward the Weasley household and other friends of Mister Potter. For their sake, however, we ask that they are not hounded about his death while still mourning.